How to find your calling and dream job
How to find your calling? After all, it is believed that each person has a purpose, a certain significant reason for which each of us comes to this world. But, unfortunately, most people never find the answer to the question “how to find your calling in life?", And some prefer not to talk about such philosophical topics.
As a result, psychologists’ clients complain that they are living someone else’s life, doing uninteresting, albeit prestigious work, or wasting energy on achieving material goals that are approved by society. Misunderstanding your desires, wasting time on what your parents, wife or entourage need is really a disservice that many do to themselves.
What is a vocation
The term does not have a strict definition, which complicates the path to the goal. Therefore, before you find your calling, you need to determine for yourself what it is. The most mundane definition: “doing what you love” is not entirely accurate. After all, some are very fond of alcohol, drugs, but this cannot be called a destination. Still, a true vocation should carry some meaning, change the lives of others for the better.
If we study the theory of pedagogy, we can distinguish two definitions.
Call of the heart, help to neighbor
The world is full of troubles, people in need. Not always others require material values. Many are looking for moral support, an incentive to develop. A person who sees a way to help, knows how to do it well and with high quality, and, most importantly, receives satisfaction as a result of the process, can call himself a vocation. But in order to find a purpose, you have to work on yourself.
Passion, true aspiration
A separate group of philosophers and psychologists believe that every person subconsciously knows how to find his calling in life. You do not need to spend a lot of time searching, it is enough to follow your desires, aspirations, even if they contradict what is accepted in society.
American philosopher Howard Truman in response to the question "How to find your calling in life?" said, “Do not ask yourself what the world needs. Instead, ask yourself what makes you feel alive and do it. The world needs survivors."
Philosophers and theologians continue to argue over the definition of destiny. But two basic descriptions of the term are enough for ordinary people who want to start working with their goals in life.
Top 10 tips to help you find your calling
Some people believe that the purpose of life is the process of life itself. The search for a destination, the acquisition of new skills necessary for its implementation, is the essence of the life path. But for those who do not know how to determine their vocation, but really want to find it, it is recommended to pay attention to small details and signs.
Keeping a dream diary
If there are no true desires, you can try to ask questions to the subconscious.
Psychologists recommend putting a notebook by the bed and writing down your thoughts immediately after waking up. If it is difficult to communicate with yourself on paper, then for a start you can simply write down dreams.
The main thing is not to worry about what exactly you dreamed about. Only feelings, reactions matter. Those who constantly wake up with a feeling of horror should analyze what worries them in real life. But if certain activities in a dream cause a feeling of inspiration, inspiration, it is recommended to turn the dream into reality.
Any process of creation is usually accompanied by an internal dialogue. Of course, not everyone has the time to professionally engage in music or drawing.
But you can allocate at least 20-30 minutes a day to write down thoughts in the form of a story, embroider a picture, assemble a lego layout.
Any creative process will help you tune in to your inner voice.
Return to what you liked before
If there is nothing left in adult life that would please or inspire, then you can return to your own childhood. Psychologists recommend remembering what you wanted to do as a teenager, and what you didn’t have enough money or parental approval for.
Very often, children subconsciously choose activities for which they not only have a soul, but also have abilities. Sometimes a return to the past helps to find a business that you want to do in the future.
Pay attention to the little things you love
It is worth fixing attention on what causes a feeling of joy, peace, love. Even if these little things do not pull on a calling!
For example, those who enjoy feeding homeless animals should consider volunteering at a shelter.
Of course, entertainment makes you feel better. But a meaningless rest will leave a feeling of a wasted life. It is especially difficult for those people whose work also does not bring satisfaction.
Therefore, instead of watching TV and social media feeds, you should start creating. The less time spent on meaningless entertainment, the more time will be left for the search for meaning.
Try new things regularly
If you passively lie on the couch and engage only in reflection, then the understanding of the vocation is unlikely to come by itself, like a revelation. To understand in which direction to move, you need to constantly try new things.
Do not be afraid to quit what you started, to change direction abruptly. If drawing is boring, switch to travel or rock climbing. Sooner or later something will cause sincere interest. It is easier for people who have a hobby, a real passion, to find their purpose.
Engage in the development of spirituality
Since it is easier for those who have spiritual guidance to truly understand their calling, it is worth spending time getting to know this area of life. It is not necessary to become a religious person.
But you can communicate with spiritual fathers, do meditation and yoga, make a trip to significant places.
Get rid of the routine
To find something new in yourself, you need to do something new. You can start with small changes: order tea instead of the usual coffee, take a different route to work, or look into a new cafe.
Sooner or later, the brain will rewire itself and give clues as to what step to take next.
Spend more money on skill development rather than material possessions
No one talks about living with broken appliances or wearing old clothes. But denying yourself developmental courses just because a new smartphone model has recently come out is a bad idea.
Only in the process of self-development will it be possible to find your destiny.
Do not rush to despair
Remember that finding a destination can take more than one year. But the process itself is very interesting and useful for self-development.
Don’t stop if nothing works. Be patient and compassionate with yourself.
In order to proudly say that you have a calling in life, you need to make a lot of effort, demonstrate patience, humility and perseverance to the universe.
How to understand that a calling has been found
Some people confuse a hobby, a prestigious job, with a calling. Indeed, how to distinguish a high goal, the purpose of all life, even if there are no clear criteria describing the term. You can rely on the feelings and feedback of other people, although everyone describes their experience in different ways.
A person who has found a calling no longer depends on the opinions of others, does not seek to meet the expectations of relatives and friends. The feeling that you have to do something you don’t want to do disappears. Also, people with a calling do not complain about causeless anxiety, apathy. The anxiety associated with not knowing where to go in life disappears. A person with a vocation feels complete peace of mind, spends financial and moral resources on his business with joy, without regrets and fears.
Everyone comes to the calling in their own way. Someone develops talent from childhood, while someone needs mentorship, support, or one conversation with a confessor.
Real life example
My parents taught at the university and from childhood prepared me for red diplomas and gold medals. Until the age of 22, my life was devoted to studying, getting high grades. I spent another 10 years on a job that, according to my parents and friends, was prestigious. After 30, I noticed that the environment began to put pressure on me about getting married. I did not feel happy, just as I did not feel that I needed a family.
There was a lot of money in the accounts, but my whole existence seemed pointless. I eventually quit my job, bought a one-way ticket, and spent 6 months hitchhiking in South America. Despite the fact that I had reserve amounts in my accounts, I tried not to pay for housing or food, but exchanged everything I needed for my services.
In the end, work and communication with different people helped me find my calling! I returned home, and despite the condemnation of my parents, I founded a company that helps people from recently sell hand-made goods on the sites of America and Europe. My monthly income has fallen several times compared to what I used to receive. But understanding that I help people realize themselves (and sometimes get out of adversity) makes me happy. I don’t care what my parents and friends think, because my work is necessary and important.
Those who do not know how to find a worthwhile calling do not have to cut all ties, quit their jobs and spend all their money on travel or hobbies. You can use your free time to look for a destination.
And yet, the search for a vocation should not require personal sacrifice and severe financial restrictions. It must be remembered that not all goals are achievable, and sometimes you have to start all over again. It is better to have financial resources in reserve and enlist moral support.
What to do if the found vocation seems false
Stories about how a person left everything, started to travel (meditate, sculpt from clay) and eventually found his destiny, are very inspiring. But you need to know that real life is not always rosy. Many people seem to find a calling, but after a few months (or years) they realize that the taste for life has been lost again, and the activities that brought joy have become meaningless.
An example from life. I graduated from the institute, got a job in my specialty, but quickly realized that my activity did not make sense. At one of the corporate parties, I took on the role of a ringleader and realized that I like to please people. I enrolled in a stand-up school, took a part-time job after my main job. As soon as I had reviews, my own client base left the office. I managed to “turn on” the audience, I was filled with the energy of the auditorium, I could spend several holidays in a row and not get tired. I clearly and clearly understood that my mission is to give smiles and good mood to people.
But three years later, creative work turned into a routine. I no longer rejoiced at the laughter of the audience, but “worked out” another corporate party. Caught in a creative crisis, she began to doubt the found purpose. There was no point in returning to work in my specialty: I did not like it, and I earned more at concerts than at the office. Fortunately, I managed to get to a psychologist in time. Together we came to the conclusion that in addition to finances and moral satisfaction, I lacked recognition. I went through several castings, got on a television show and again felt the taste for life. I’m glad I didn’t give up on my calling. After all, it was just a matter of changing the vector a bit!
5 recommendations for those who are disappointed in their vocation
Do not give up the calling you have found too quickly. Crisis situations should not cross out already existing achievements. Before you drop everything and start looking for a new goal, it is worth putting into practice the advice of psychologists.
Pause, give yourself time
Potential cannot be unlocked overnight. Even if the path to the vocation has dragged on, it has ceased to bring pleasure, you should not give up the goal.
It is better to pause, switch attention to something else. If the calling is true, then soon the interest will return.
Constantly learn and develop
Most people dream of turning their vocation into a life’s work, bringing in income. In such cases, comparing yourself with people who have achieved success in a similar field is demotivating.
You need to understand that calling is not always measured by profit. Sometimes the main reward is emotions. But if thoughts of profit do not leave, then it is worth taking up education.
Stop comparing yourself to others
Do not fanatically track other people’s successes. The call to help those in need can manifest itself both in the banal distribution of hot tea to the homeless, and in the construction of a social center.
It can take years for a calling to start paying off (monetary or recognition). If you spend time in constant comparisons, you can quickly burn out.
Remember and analyze the moments of your own successes
If there are thoughts that the vocation found is meaningless, then it is worth remembering the moments of “enlightenment”. Psychologists advise to describe in the diary a period of life when doing what you love brought only positive emotions, gave inspiration.
Often, in the process of writing "memoirs" the answer to the question pops up: "what has changed?". Perhaps you have begun to spend too much time on your "life’s work" or have begun to attach more importance to the opinions of others. But it’s never too late to "fall back" to a previous version of yourself.
Distract from toxic remarks and unfounded criticism
In times of crisis, it is important to get moral support. But if the environment “adds fuel to the fire” and only says that it is not advisable to spend time on the chosen business, and the vocation itself is too small, then you need to return to points 1 and 4.
If you can’t completely refuse to communicate with toxic and demotivating people, then set boundaries. Just forbid to raise a sensitive topic.
Of course, it is best to seek the help of an experienced psychologist. Without criticism and value judgments, a specialist will help to understand the causes of burnout.
How to help your child find their calling
For another 100-200 years, the life of children was easier. Not better or safer, mind you, but definitely easier. From childhood, a person understood where he was destined to live the rest of his life, and had at least a general idea of u200bu200bwhat he had to do. Today, the possibilities are endless. But with so many choices comes a responsibility that parents often take on.
Only one in five teenagers between the ages of 13 and 18 has a clear vision of what they want to do in life. Most of the respondents have vague aspirations (“a lot of money”, “a prestigious job”, “the attention of others”). At the same time, adolescents do not have plans to achieve their goals. Almost a quarter of the respondents do not express any aspirations at all. Parents, who in most cases themselves do not have a vocation, do a disservice and advise their children to choose reliable professions or enter universities where there are connections.
Many are familiar with the chain: "You must get good grades to go to college." "You have to graduate from college to get a prestigious job." "Prestigious work will give a piece of bread and butter." That is, 10-15 of the most productive years of life are proposed to be spent in order to eventually receive some material values and the approval of others.
The “correct” parents first push the child to find an answer to the questions: “What would I like to do in life?”, “What kind of person do I see myself in 10-15 years?”. As soon as the child has a goal, he himself will rebuild his life in the right direction. The main thing is not to be frightened and not to ridicule such answers as “I want to make the world a better place”, “I want to defeat hunger in African countries”, “I want to end wars on the whole planet”. After all, even such exaggerated aspirations and ideals are much better than "having a piece of bread and butter." Parents who want to show their child how to find their calling in the profession should express recognition and support.
And then transform the desire for "world peace" into concrete goals. You can search for information about organizations whose purpose of work corresponds to the ideals and desires of the child, find out what specialists are required. Setting an end goal will allow you to understand why go to college or develop certain skills. This approach will lead to a feeling of satisfaction with your life.
But what if the teen is insecure?
If a teenager is full of insecurity, and even in general cannot form his goals, then parents should contact a psychologist. It is total control, mockery of the child’s true desires, that lead to a complete unwillingness to "think about yourself." As a result, children with excellent grades enter universities not chosen by them, get prestigious jobs and live an ideal life according to their parents.
At the same time, a complete void remains inside. It is not for nothing that in developed countries, many children take a “holiday year” after school, travel, and are engaged in the search for their vocation. In the countries of the former USSR, they try to fit into the generally accepted scheme … and enter a midlife crisis a few years after graduation from the institute.
At best, a person manages to find a calling by the age of 40 (“at 45, life just begins”). The main task of parents is not to pressure, not to adjust the child to their patterns. Not everyone needs to become dentists, lawyers or economists. It is likely that the true purpose will allow you to earn much more. For example, a girl who is really interested in teaching children can open her own school, publish a series of educational books. Although initially pedagogical education might seem unpromising.
Finding a calling is a difficult task. After all, you need to focus not on material, but on spiritual values. But as soon as a purpose appears in life, all the surrounding negativity loses its significance.